Since I am starting
anew, I am glad to just start thinking positive thoughts and to appreciate the
sun again. Yes, I mean it literally and figuratively. While I was on a short
hiatus, enjoying the calm sea while the weather was suffering from a mild
bipolar disorder today, I immediately took a pen. (This is already a habit I
cant change when the landscape is worth writing about).
As I breathe fresh
air, I just feel like I need to write a poem and this time, it has to be in
Filipino.
P.S. Pardon my
Filipino grammar J
Me saying, "Hello Mr. Sunshine!" |
Alon
Habang sumasabay
ang hangin sa agos ng alon
Palayo ng palayo sa
alalang dala ng kahapon
Ang iyong mukha ay
aking muling nasilayan
Mga matang
nangungusap, sa di kalayuan
Isang mukhang di ko
mawari saan ko nakita
Iyong pagkataong
sadyang di ko pa nakilala
kasabay ng hampas
ng hangin saking pisngi
Katotohanan sa
iyong mata ay namumutawi
Isa lang ba talaga
tong alalaa o panaginip?
O marahil isang
nakalipas n pilit sumisilip
Sa darating na
bukas na aking hinhintay
Isang bagong bukas
n ngayoy naghihintay
Alon, dalhin mo ang
aking kamalayan
Sa isang lugar na
aking dpat puntahan
Dahan dahan mo
akong iakay sa hangin
Para aking
pinakamimithi ay maakin
Before I end my
blog, let me share to you this beautiful song from the Passenger. We should be
thankful and appreciate the things that we have for we’ll never know their
worth once they are gone.
Maybe
it’s the weather to blame. No, it's a lame excuse maybe it’s me. I was inspired to write a poem and
express myself through writing. I apologize for any grammatical error. :D
Could’ve Been
Could’ve Been
It
could have been you, simply you and me
But
I was so wrong that I failed to see
All I am good at is to run away and leave
When you have so many things to give
All I am good at is to run away and leave
When you have so many things to give
I
can just regret the chances I didn’t take
Being
selfish thinking all was for my sake
I
am sorry that I took you for granted
When
all along it’s you I’ve ever wanted
I
know I am insanely and irrationally naïve
That
it forced you to finally have your leave
Seeing
you start to drift away from me
Tears
me up inside butyou just can’t see
Realizing
how such a fool I am to let you go
That
I didn’t let my genuine feelings show
It’s
my purest emotions I’m afraid to reveal
And
so, I try to hide and pretend all I feel
Thinking it’s the best for the both of us
Just to ensure this friendship will last
Now that you are liking someone new
Someone who can love and care for you
I admit, it’s starting to kill me up inside
You won’t notice, I am good enough to hide
Crazy, but I’m hoping for a could’ve been
A possibility of us, that I truly mean
If there is any chance and if you ask me to
Is it too late? coz for whatever it is
worth
I might just take my chances with you…
I know I can be damn too difficult at times.Bear with me :) |
My feet head towards you. |
I've waited for years and I choose not to settle for anything less than I deserve. |
Uh,oh. Seriously, I
am starting to hate seeing candles lighted on my upcoming birthday cakes. They
remind me how I get old throughout the years haha. Just this Monday, I
celebrated my 25th birthday and to be honest, I kinda feel old. I am
hoping I don’t look my age.
Since it’s my
birthday, I have decided to come up with a new blog post just to share some of
my crazy thoughts.
Last Saturday where
I got to spend a fun movie weekend getaway with my best friends, we watched the
movie Pitch Perfect. (I know it’s 2013 and it’s my first time to watch it J) It’s a super hilarious film shown on cinemas last
2012. It’s packed with some of my favorite songs and the nice thing about that
movie is that it keeps on reminding me of the things that I have to do with my
life.
The quote says it all. :) |
Love What You Do
I know I can be stubborn at times. It is not in my nature to go where the crowd goes. I like doing things my way. On a positive note, I’ve always been a believer of my dreams and my passion. In Pitch Perfect, it is simple as it is. If you want to be like P. Diddy and you think you are skilled and good at it then go for it. The limits that you set for yourself are the only limitations. After all, what will you gain if you are not even willing to risk anything? Just like what Steve Jobs said, you don’t have to live in a social dogma. Live the life the way you want it, they way you imagine it to be. In the end, you will only regret the chances you didn’t take.
Now that I am already 25, I know there are still a lot of things that will come my way. But I am willing to fight for my dreams until the end. How will I know if I would not try?
A quote from my all time fave philosopher Lao Tzu |
Stop Running Away!
The lead character, played by Anna Kendrick, somehow resembles me in so many ways. Going back, I don’t know where this habit of pushing someone away comes to life. I don’t know if it is because of my fear that I might entrust my heart again to someone who does not deserve it, someone who will break it or is it because I’m just afraid as to what might happen if there is someone who will actually fall in love with me.
But I think my friends are right. I seriously need to rethink my position and I have to find my way back again. I’ve said this a million times and I’ve tried so hard but I guess I need to try harder. Guess, I need to start to get up on my sleeves.
So, future beau, please bear with me haha. I know it may take a little bit longer but I hope I’ll be ready and whole. I hope I can be the best person I can be when you meet me.
In life, you cannot
just play one note, for a beautiful music is only created when you start
discovering how other notes jive in. You have to find the perfect pitch and create one of
the most memorable kinds of music that will make any person find eternal bliss.
I am ending this post with some of my fave music. :)
Hope you guys enjoy
Hope you guys enjoy
Possibilities by Freddie Stroma
"All these possibilities, oh these possibilities
Are written in the stars, we are who we are baby
And I can’t help but think that possibly
There’s possibility"
Movie Clip from Pitch Perfect
"I saw the sign..."
Enchanted by Taylor Swift
"I'll spend forever wondering if you knew;
I was enchanted to meet you.
Please don' fall in love with someone else.
Please don't have somebody waiting on you."
"Do you know what's waiting beyond that beach? Immortality! Take it, it's yours."-Achilles |
People akin to me and
those who hold me dearest would always dub me as Gabriela (a Filipina hero –
bold, strong-willed and astute) and they say that I have this tendency, whether
directly or implicitly, to come out so strong and to scare people away (especially
guys lol), when in fact I’m soft and can be at times, highly vulnerable. It
appears as if Maria Clara is stuck in the body of Xena the Warrior Princess
haha.
Yet, behind the façade of boldness exuding in my aura, I just like everyone else has his/her own Achilles heel.
Yet, behind the façade of boldness exuding in my aura, I just like everyone else has his/her own Achilles heel.
While going to the hospital a few days agoback, it dawned on me how I simply and utterly hate going to hospital. I can’t bear staying in a medical facility for so long or worst; have myself examined by a doctor. I don’t know if it’s because it pains me to see people sick, huge needles or my fear of blood, or probably, all of them.
This is a chronic
fear that I will never be able to let go of.
Phobia No. 2: Fear of Dark
and Enclosed Spaces (Claustrophobia)
There are quite a handful
of people suffering from claustrophobia. Even Dan’s Brown main character in his
books, Robert Langdon, has it. Fear of enclosed spaces is something I have
struggled to handle for years. When I am in a dark or tight space where I don’t
have any means to move, my body starts to get stiff as I struggle to grasp for
air.
Ask me if I sleep with lights
on? Before…Yes! Haha
My childhood days were
spent with lights in my room all turned on. Mind you, my body knows if the
light is turned on or turned off even if I am half asleep or when my mind is
already in neverland.
Upon entering the
university where I stayed in a dormitory, I had no choice but to fight back my
fears. My dormates can’t and wouldn’t sleep with lights on.
Thank God I’ve overcome my
fear of dark and enclosed spaces. If not, I’ll be stuck out in the elevator
with people thinking if I’m a mindless triglodyte lost somewhere in space.
I like kerro keroppi too but not the real ones. |
Phobia #3: Fear of Frogs
Whew…just typing the
words already gives me those scary chills.
Animal related phobia is quite normal; I don’t have a friend saying he/she likes holding snakes though I’ve seen some who do.
Goodness. Hearing their
kokak kokak chant can almost take the wits out of me. I don’t know what happens
but once I see them they really start getting on my nerves. It starts to feel
grumpy, slimy, yucky.. I can come up with hundreds of adjectives to describe it
now haha.
There’s even one instance
where in one of the activities of our organization, we were asked to hold two
frogs. You would not have guessed what happened. I freaked out and cried like a
river ( Never seen myself cried a liter of tears). For 30 minutes, my stomach
turned upside down as my hands held the frogs. Holding them again for another
or hour so is enough to kill me haha.
What I always do: pack my things lol |
Fear No. 4: Unknown/
Lethal/ Dangerous
But among these fears,
there is this type which starts to subtly make its way to me, operating
clandestinely in my already drained thoughts. All this time, it’s there. To my
surprise, some can even notice it without me knowing.
“You’re always good at
running away.” “Lagi kang pack-up mode.”
There appears to be truth
in what they say. For this fear is my waterloo, the kind of fear that may break
me or can make me whole again.
Running away is not easy either. Days and nights get by where I end up over-analyzing and regretting of some of the chances I wish I could have done something, say something.
This is one or if not the
most dangerous amongst my insane fears. For failure to take that risk would mean
a lost chance to know what life is.
Perhaps not today, maybe in the upcoming days, but I promise to myself that I will try my best and soon, that fear will vanish in the realms of stupid thoughts.
We have our own fears, doubts and insecurities. Having them, I think, is normal. For these weaknesses reveal our mortality and in our fears, there lies our capacity to love and to achieve greater heights.
“So, do not fear, for I am with you, do not be dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen and help you, I will uphold you with my righteous hand."-Isaiah 41:10
Happy October everyone!
Let me share one of my fave songs from Adele - Chasing Pavements:)