The rays of the fiery sun strike in every tree branches making the lush greenery much more alive. As the beam of light kissed my cheeks while sitting on a solid wooden bench, my mind started to sail on a calm shore. I've always been like this; never allowing any thoughts to disturb my contained inner peace. Nor did I grant anyone the permission to seduce my complacency to thrive into the unknown, unsafe.
Everyday, for years, Ive kept myself afar, watching from a distance. Sitting in the corner while keenly observing every people pass by give me this rare chance to try to decode those faces and expressions.I've been wanting to fathom what is behind those surreptitious glances and smiles, this feeling of dire need I myself could not comprehend.
Then, a sight of you just came dashing in my supposedly tranquil and typical day. Everything changed in an instant. I started to feel like Im now being drowned in my own oblivion,victimized by my false hopes and optimism. Yes, I want to blame you for that. But how can I hold it against someone or rather something, I have never experienced for real..
My vision started to go blur and my breathe went into a heavy panting and irksome sighing. All my thoughts swerved to a topsyturvey turn. My used to be rational mind abruptly could not decide what to do. I've started to wander myself with questions; should i search for you? should i make a move now?
I want you to come to me, at least just the idea of you trying,i guess would suffice. I want to meet your eyes, gaze at you for a while. Eventually, finding out to have no stupid reason why I just like to.I imagine holding your hand, grasping it too tight and will never let go.
Then my thoughts drifted back to reality. It was a mere daydream. When I opened my eyes you were nowhere of sight. Lost were the feelings and the dreams Ive tried to suppress. Holding my hands, I could feel my heart contracted heavily for a while. There and then, no cure can mend it except for the tears let alone get out of its way. Just as rain started to drench me, I could feel myself trying to wipe those tears away. When I closed my eyes, I suddenly prayed. Then, a glimpse of hope came rushing in. It is something divine and it continues to comfort me til now. Seconds after, a rainbow started to appear in the sky. Not now but perhaps soon, I told myself.
Then, a sight of you just came dashing in my supposedly tranquil and typical day. Everything changed in an instant. I started to feel like Im now being drowned in my own oblivion,victimized by my false hopes and optimism. Yes, I want to blame you for that. But how can I hold it against someone or rather something, I have never experienced for real..
My vision started to go blur and my breathe went into a heavy panting and irksome sighing. All my thoughts swerved to a topsyturvey turn. My used to be rational mind abruptly could not decide what to do. I've started to wander myself with questions; should i search for you? should i make a move now?
I want you to come to me, at least just the idea of you trying,i guess would suffice. I want to meet your eyes, gaze at you for a while. Eventually, finding out to have no stupid reason why I just like to.I imagine holding your hand, grasping it too tight and will never let go.
Then my thoughts drifted back to reality. It was a mere daydream. When I opened my eyes you were nowhere of sight. Lost were the feelings and the dreams Ive tried to suppress. Holding my hands, I could feel my heart contracted heavily for a while. There and then, no cure can mend it except for the tears let alone get out of its way. Just as rain started to drench me, I could feel myself trying to wipe those tears away. When I closed my eyes, I suddenly prayed. Then, a glimpse of hope came rushing in. It is something divine and it continues to comfort me til now. Seconds after, a rainbow started to appear in the sky. Not now but perhaps soon, I told myself.
* It was indeed a sunny morning that day but it suddenly rained. A fox rain.
*The theme of this write-up is basically from a koreanovela that I had finished watching, My Girlfriend is a Gumiho.